Today is one of those days I want to crawl back into bed and burrow down under the covers and not come out again until mid-afternoon.
It is dark here. I think it might rain.
Which is fine. I like the rain just fine.
I just hate having to get on the freeway in the rain.
I want to bake. But I feel too lazy for that.
That would require deciding what to bake.
Then I would have to make a list of ingredients.
Of course, I would have to go to the store.
Finally there is the actual baking. Which is great.
Until it is time to clean.
Plus I really don't need to have a bunch of baked goods in the house.
I have been thinking the past couple days about Christmas cookies.
I usually bake three or four kinds of cookies.
I swap with family and friends.
I take them to work.
I give some to neighbors.
This year I have none of that inclination or motivation in me.
And that fake tree is going to sit in that box again this year. In that box where it has been for the past few years.
I have not even thought about a design yet for Christmas cards, much less actually gotten up the steam to make them.
Fuck, I can't even bring myself to go outside and hang a couple strands of twinkle lights on the house.
The adopt-a-family deal I am doing may be the only thing that gets me in the spirit this year even a little bit.
I need a good kick in the ass.
Please, someone shake me out of my blah-humbug mood.
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Nothing more than ramblings, observations and questions about life, love and my own pursuit of happiness.
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3 comments:
Ah yes, I understand where you are ... it snowed here yesterday, an early snow for DC. It was just enough to make things interesting without shutting down the entire city, which I don't think would've been so bad. But it does make it a bit more Christmasey.
It's the crack of 12:30 p.m. here and I'm trying to decide what to do with my surprise day off. Hmmm ... the house is warm and cozy. I've got some movies.
But I figure there MUST be something I have to be doing like x-mas shopping or some such thing. Yeah, maybe.
I find when I get into my lazy mode I look at what I really have to do and if it revolves around taking out the trash or cleaning something I wait it out and enjoy a little lazy time. I mean I could always be cleaning something it seems. I figure it's like the desire/urge to bake. It doesn't happen all the time so bask in some laziness, soak it up ... then it will pass. Sorry, this probably isn't the kick in the ass you wanted but hell, you work hard, you've spent significant time remodeling your kitchen etc. Relax, chill ... I would hang some lights tho. I am going to do that today. It will put you into the holiday spirit to be surrounded by x-mas lights. Baby steps. hohohohoho
I just punt on the whole thing. I no longer allow myself to be vulnerable to any forced Christmas cheer. It's either there, or it isn't. If you're shut down right now, there's probably a good reason for it. If it's just a mood, it'll pass. And sometimes the randomness of daily life works some strange miracles. Especially the closer you get to 34th Street. If there is one in Torrance, that is.
Hope you're feeling better, hon. With this post, though, you are officially my twin. I could have written this. Except I would have actually crawled back in bed and stayed there. It's not pretty. I'm counting the days until March already.
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