I had a birthday.
Am I old?
Am I young?
I am closer to 40 than to 30.
But I still get carded at least once every couple months.
Maybe they are just being kind.
Would I be considered middle-aged?
I don't think of myself that way.
I could do stuff to make myself look and feel younger and better.
In some ways I think I am ahead of the game at this point in life.
In some ways I think I have some catching up to do.
House - check
Kid - um, no
Job - check
Job security - um, no
Husband - well, there was that one guy. Then there was that other guy. So... um, not anymore.
I try not to set deadlines for having things like kids and husbands and houses.
When the good stuff comes along, I try to just enjoy it.
When the bad stuff happens, I try to get through it.
I like to think it is more good than bad these days.
But I do still want the kid. Which I guess means I do still want the husband.
As for the job... I think I would rather just win the lotto.
Since that is unlikely, I guess I will have to make do and keep my fingers crossed.
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Nothing more than ramblings, observations and questions about life, love and my own pursuit of happiness.
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6 comments:
"When the good stuff comes along, I try to just enjoy it.
When the bad stuff happens, I try to get through it."
Lemme know the secret ...
Obviously there is no secret to the first part. Just enjoy it!
As for that second part...
There is a good deal of "Hey, it could be worse."
There is a good deal of hiding in a dark room as much as possible (that was the case for a while when I was getting divorced).
Mostly I think it is just knowing that I have no choice but to get through it. So I do.
And I try to give myself something to look forward to as incentive. Like a little trip. Or something as simple as a spa day.
Does that make me easily distracted?
Happy Birthday Jill!! I meant to tell you on the actual day -- I saw your b-day on facebook -- but life has been cra-zee. I'm still doing Napa the end of August for my freaking 40th ... You are still invited.
I do have a good job that I like but not much else. Well, four cats. Looking for a husband to fall into my lap, waiting for home prices to fall (a wee bit more) and then maybe the stork will fly by with one of those screaming, hungry, poopy things. haha Or not. It's evident I'm not in control anyway.
Oh, I forgot being happy. I got that covered so that's cool.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
I have a hard time with the concept of "middle-aged" myself. I know deep down I'm probably two-thirds done with my life. But I still mostly feel like a teenager — depression, painful infatuations, breakfast-cereal-binge impulses. As for the rest, somehow I just don't much worry about it. Have I given up? No. I've just given up what doesn't matter.
And that, above all else, is what age does for you.
Oh yeah. I have definitely changed in my attitude.
I do not want to think of it as lowering my expectations.
I think of it more as not worrying so much about what others think.
And just being happy and comfortable in my own skin.
And knowing that the things we dream of when we are 13 are the dreams of a 13-year-old who really has no earthly idea of what she or he really wants.
All I really want is happiness.
My idea of what that is changes constantly.
Which is sort of more fun anyway.
Happy Birthday!! I think you may have more of a handle on it than you realize you do. ;) xoxoxoxo
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