10.23.2007

Trying to light a fire under my own ass

There is really only one word for how I have felt the past few days: listless.

It is perfect.

Listless is defined as "characterized by lack of interest, energy, or spirit."

Yep.

I lack all those things.

Pretty much the only thing I have had much interest in or energy for is puttering. I basically puttered away my weekend.

OK, I had a brunch/lunch sort of thing Sunday. But that pretty much zapped all my energy for the rest of the weekend.

Maybe this was brought on by my cold last week. But I started feeling much better by Friday as far as that goes.

Maybe it is the weather here. It was about 95 degrees when I was driving to work today at noon.

Maybe it is the foul air here. In case you haven't heard, Southern California is one big bonfire.

Or maybe it is a slight case of depression. I get that once in a while.

It's not nearly as bad as I got when I was going through my separation, divorce and re-entering the dating pool.

But I do recognize the basic feelings. Listless. That is always the underlying feeling.

When I get this way I really have to force myself to do stuff. Today I had to come to work. So that wasn't a choice.

But over the weekend (Sunday and Monday for me), I really had to tell myself to get up, do some chores, run some errands, eat something... And it felt good to get even the smallest of things accomplished.

Maybe next weekend I will get more done.

Maybe by then the heat will be gone, the fires will be out and the smoke will have cleared.

Maybe that is all I need.

6 comments:

Patty O said...

Hi, I'm Pat.

I know what you mean with the whole not motivated feeling. When it happens to me, eventually I have to find something to do to not go crazy.

Atypical California Girl said...

I know what you mean, Pat. I just have to force myself out of my funk.

Jim Thomsen said...

Sometimes it's just your mind's and body's way of saying: "I need a break." If so, heed that call ... and give yourself over to necessary laziness. Sometimes listlessness is NOT something that needs to be broken out of.

Atypical California Girl said...

When the listlessness lasts more than a couple days, a change is needed.

Angela said...

You have just pegged the last five years of my life for me. :) I started running this week, though, and really do feel better. DAMN that exercise advice. Damn. Damn. DAMN!

Yours may totally be about your air quality, though. Or just a phase. I have phases. And I agree with Jim, sometimes that listlessness is just the body's way of saying, "HEY, take a break!" to balance the scales, you know?

Hope you're feeling better soon (if not already).

Atypical California Girl said...

Thanks Angela.
Actually, the listlessness lingers.
Oh well. Maybe I can still kick it by the weekend.